There’s something going on and I don’t exactly know what it is or how I would describe it, but if whatever has been wrecking constant havoc with my emotions and with my mind was made up of a heavily-pigmnanted color, I think that color would probably be a dark maroon, almost blood-red at its core.

Part of it all is that I’m not doing the normal things like sleeping or eating like I usually do.  I take this herbal stuff to make me fall and hopefully stay asleep, but it hasn’t worked the way it usually does in that it usually makes me slide into an uneasy slumber and wake up a few hours later and roll to the side and check out the time and feel grateful that I still have several more hours of maybe-sleep to go.  But, though I’m still taking those pills, I haven’t been falling asleep.  I’m trying to blame it on anything I can besides what I fear it really is.  I tell myself that the weather is changing and I like to sleep in a room that feels cool and that I have a lot on my mind when it comes to all that must get done between now and late June at work.  I admit to myself that I feel the need to continually come up with ideas for my writing and that I’m terrified that Bravo will unleash a new set of Housewives in some random rural city and then I’ll feel the unwelcome desire to follow those lunatics too but on the upside, maybe I’ll finally get to see what a real life Dairy Queen actually looks like because a Dairy Queen is where a part of me believes all rural people spend all of their time.